Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
ttyl tear gas
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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