i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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