she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
