you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
