I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
