im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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