I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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