speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
