I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
