You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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