Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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