Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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