you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
