im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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