I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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