yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
