if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
