So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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