Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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