no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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