I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
