We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Randomize
