Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
