I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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