He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
