Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
