Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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