p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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