How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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