who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
