i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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