Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
