She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
