she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
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I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
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I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again