did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to