did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
