And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
