Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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