I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize