I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
