I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
