im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
