Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
