i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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