I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
