You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
