I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
