More tranny stories later!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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