I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
i think my cat just said my name.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
