I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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