well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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