mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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