Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
