tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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