wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
