She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
