i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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