duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
