real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
