i jhust puked up my retainher.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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