Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
