Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
