thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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